Real estate agent, appraiser dines on tarantula

She isn't Miss Muffet! She ate the spider, a big hairy tarantula, on a reality TV show filmed in Costa Rica. Sure it's sickening to think of doing the same, but you have to understand Patti Blagojevich. This was a piece of cake for her. I'm surprised she didn't ask for seconds. After all, my guess is daddy, the powerful Chicago Northwest Side Alderman Richard Mell, sprinkled nails and screws on her pablum.Patti's shameless hubby, impeached Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich and his thatch of hair, had been contracted to be a contestant on NBC's "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!" Unfortunately, for Blago, a judge nixed his traveling out of the country due to Blago's federal corruption charges on pay to play schemes and trying to sell the Senate seat of President Barack Obama. And so, the gallant guy handed his licensed real estate agent/appraiser wife the airplane tickets. Some might say Patti had better credentials, anyway. She ain't fussy as long as she gets a commission and reportedly, Blago was to receive $123,000 from the show. That's a lot of bananas for the couple's mounting legal bills. Recently, Patti was subpoenaed by federal prosecutors for documents and e-mails related to more than 40 entities or people, including convicted lobbyist, political fundraiser, and real estate developer Tony Rezko. After he was busted, her real estate business suit was thrown in the trash but reportedly, she had pocketed more than $700,000 in commissions on other sweet deals. Supposedly, Patti used Blago's power for well-paid seats on corporate boards, justifying she was qualified for such positions because of her real estate and appraisal expertise. And then, she was caught in a snit saying Tribune Co. ownership should "just fire" Chicago Tribune editorial writers if the company wanted the state of Illinois to help unload Wrigley Field. Allegedly, authorities have a taped phone conversation of her husband, which reveals her potty-mouth comments heard in the background: "Hold up that [expletive] Cubs [expletive]. [Expletive] them."But wait, you say? Aren't Patti and the other reality show contestants suppose to be working on behalf of their chosen charities? Yes, according to the show's website, The "I'm A Celebrity" Charity Fund will support each of the 11 charities of their participating celebrities. Patti's charity of choice is The Children's Cancer Center, dedicated to providing children who have cancer or chronic blood disorders with the educational, emotional and financial support necessary to cope with their life-threatening illnesses. www.childrenscancercenter.orgEven so, Patti says she is participating in the fight for survival in the jungle on behalf of her family. She claims, "I'm fighting to keep our house, and keep our kids in school." If she's the lucky, bug-bitten, sweaty, half-starved, stinky last one still on the show after the others are voted off, the former first lady of Illinois will be crowned Queen of the Jungle.Oh please…she's already won that title. Dear Readers:If you're looking for a 'better than new, 3bd, 2ba, 2 car garage, fireplace, beautiful kitchen, private gated condo with all the amenities for $1350 monthly', email aearly22@comcast.net.Ask Miki is a column of opinion and entertainment, and anything herein is not intended for real estate, financial, psychological, legal, or tax advice. You may contact real estate agent Miki Garcia at askmikigarcia@yahoo.com.