Understanding what others are personally going through

When we have a bad day, it might be because we were 10 minutes late to work. Or we ran out of milk for coffee or cereal at breakfast. Perhaps it unexpectedly rained when we were on our daily run or walk. And that sets our day up as a day of frustrations, although very minor. Those instances, although not intentional, were a result of our actions. But many of our neighbors, young and old, are going through medical conditions, diseases and disabilities that they did not personally cause. And they're going through it alone, without many of their peers, friends and family members knowing and understanding the struggles they endure each day. It could be your 40-year-old friend going through chemotherapy for breast cancer or the elderly man suffering from Parkinson's disease or the young woman with fibromyalgia. Besides the sometimes frightening possibilities or consequences of the diagnoses, it can be a lonely road to travel for those suffering from a medical hardship when no one else is aware of what they're experiencing. Many feel isolated, maybe embarrassed, ashamed that they're "not normal" and that no one will accept them for who they are. Others, such as 18-year-old Ally Salerno, take a brave route by writing and talking about their conditions. They go through challenges with such grace and positivity that we could benefit from learning how to be like them so our own daily minor upsets do not get the better of us. With September being Alopecia Awareness Month, Salerno wanted to share her story about living with the autoimmune disorder that causes hair loss (see her front-page story). About 2.5 million individuals in the United States have alopecia areata, which can be a devastating diagnosis in a society obsessed with keeping up with the latest hairstyles. Salerno, who graduated from Woodcreek High School in May, developed the disorder last year at 17, an age when being bald is not an issue and when peers spend significant time styling their hair each day. While many with alopecia areata are embarrassed with their often startling change in appearance, Salerno wants to show others they can still live life fully. But when alopecia caused the majority of her hair to fall out, leaving her more than 60 percent bald, Salerno at first wanted to hide too. As she wrote on Instagram, "I felt mortified and embarrassed of my appearance, I slowly became unable to recognize myself and grew hesitant on facing my reality. Some days, I couldn't look in the mirror without breaking down. This caused me to distance myself from the people I love. I didn't want to share my story because I myself didn't want to accept this was happening. I thought how could others accept me if I couldn't accept myself? Then I discovered an important lesson: Once you accept something, it no longer has control over you. I am done being ashamed of something I can't control, this is who I've become and I love myself (hair or not) for who I am as a person. Don't let your flaws define you or weigh you down. View your uniqueness as a reminder that you were born to rise up stand out." Don't forget that Salerno just turned 18 and she already has this wisdom, wisdom that is true for each and every one of us. Besides posting about her progress with the disorder, Salerno is also writing a book for younger children with the disorder to show them that they are normal and not alone. Her mother, Allene Salerno, told Gold Country Media that you realize how little you know about something until it affects someone you love. It's inspiring that Salerno and others going through a difficult time are willing to talk about it. We should at the very least embrace what they're saying and see how we can help. A little understanding goes a long way for everyone.