Straight Talk: What do you do if girlfriend too much like mom?

Dear Straight Talk: I'm a 17-year-old guy in a pretty serious relationship with my girlfriend. We've been together almost a year and are sexually active. The problem is, she is exactly like my mother. Even friends have noted the similarities. Both of them worry constantly, are overly helpful and very judgmental. They both try to control my life and prevent me from having certain friends, who I believe they misjudge. I've heard that men attract women like their mothers and girls attract men like their fathers. How true is this? And how can a person change this? I'm ready to break up with her, but I don't want to make the same mistake again. ~ Running ScaredLara, 19, Fair Oaks: In earlier years, I always found myself with guys similar to my dad. They would bring out the same emotions and challenges that were unresolved with my dad. Lately I've been working on getting to know my dad better and forgiving him. We've had some breakthroughs and the men in my life have definitely improved. Rachel, 19, Los Angeles: It's true that men and women unknowingly attract partners that resemble their parents. Often we need the support offered by these types of individuals, or we see benefits in their personalities (for example, their ability to raise a family). And sometimes we have unsettled issues and attract someone with similar "problems" so we can resolve our past difficulties through them.Jennifer, 17, Sacramento: Like your mom has qualities you dislike, my dad does too. Recently, I was with this guy who had those bad qualities to the extreme. I could see that he was attention-seeking and controlling, but I didn't immediately relate these qualities back to my dad. When I did, I ended it right away. Get to know someone well before jumping into a relationship. Johannes, 24, Los Angeles: While this may be true, beware the exceptions. Love at 17 is dangerous because people are still figuring themselves out. Teens get overwhelmed emotionally at this age and feel they might marry their girlfriend or boyfriend. This is highly unlikely. Instead of worrying about unconsciously seeking women like your mother, focus these years on personal development. Explore different relationships so you learn what you can live with and what you can't live without. Katelyn, 16, Huntington Beach: Could your mom have rubbed off on her? To avoid this mistake in the future, spend more time as friends without having sex. The warning signs will be easier to spot. Katherine, 16, Petaluma: In this situation, I would recall why I liked my partner originally and ask him why he liked me. I would also ask if something is happening behind the scenes to make him act the way he does. Best advice: Don't let people control you. If the spark is gone, move on. Farren, 23, Redding: The way to avoid this is to unpack your baggage before getting into another relationship. Resolving issues with your mother may be impossible, but at least stop blaming her. Otherwise you will drag her into all your relationships. Dear Running Scared: The panel is right-on. Until you "unpack your baggage," as Farren says, you will drag around the unforgiven aspects of your relationship with your mother (and others). And yes, we do tend to attract what we drag around. But there is a red flag in your letter. I have a question for you. Is there a reason both your mother and girlfriend worry about you hanging out with certain friends? At your age, one's peers have a huge effect on one's choices. Are mom and girlfriend trying to "control" you in areas where you're not doing a good job of controlling yourself? Food for thought. ~LaurenFor more discussion, to ask a question, or inquire about being a youth panelist, visit www.straighttalkforteens.com.