Teen, adoptive mother changed each others lives for the better

Roseville resident Jeanne Baine said she didn't start out with the idea of adopting a teenage daughter, but now she and daughter Barbara are a perfect fit. "I started fostering her at 12 and adopted her at 13," Jeanne Baine said. "I initially was looking in the 6-10 (age range)." Baine said when she attended an adoption class and heard testimonials from adopted teens, she became more interested in welcoming an older child into her home. Barbara Baine, now 17, a junior at Woodcreek High School, was living in an Auburn foster home at the time, and her and Jeanne's adoption profile's seemed to match up just right.In March 2007 Jeanne Baine adopted her daughter after fostering her for close to a year.Barbara Baine said her first adoptive family didn't treat her well and were illegally trying to adopt a child. When they were found out, Barbara went into a receiving home. She spent four-and-a-half years in the foster care system in Auburn. The first year Barbara spent with Jeanne was tough because she had a lot of anxiety, was in counseling and had a lot of doctor appointments to go to, and the new mother's goal was to keep Barbara calm and make her new life fun, Jeanne Baine said. The two traveled and Barbara adjusted to her new middle school. Jeanne encouraged her daughter to try soccer, tennis and playing the guitar. "It's been pretty good, because I was in not such a stable environment, and now it's more stable," Barbara Baine said. "Kids kept coming in and out (in the foster home). I didn't have quite a great experience before the foster home experience anyway. It was a good start fresh." Candyce Skinner, a manager for the Placer County Children's System of Care, said there are 24 foster teens in Placer County who are scheduled to turn 18 next year and don't have permanent homes. Skinner said the belief used to be that teens didn't need to find permanent homes, because they would be adults soon. "But really we all need permanency," Skinner said.Placer County Children's System of Care partners with Sierra Forever Families, a non-profit organization that focuses on finding and nurturing permanent families for children in foster care, to form Placer Kids, based in Auburn. The collaboration strives to bring about more permanent homes for foster youth. Sara Hanson, public relations specialist for Sierra Forever Families, said foster youth who age out of the system without "forever homes" are at a much greater risk in the world. "The less effort that is put into finding them families means there is a great possibility they will become lost," Hanson said. "Statistics show that youth who do not find a perm family, or this lifetime connection, ... that between two and four years, over 50 percent of them will be drug addicted, homeless, have spent time in jail or prison or the worst outcome is death. So we are losing these kids every day." Hanson said 60 percent of women who age out of the foster care system are also statistically shown to have a baby within four years, and that child could also end up in the system, continuing the cycle. Skinner said she thinks a success story like the Baines' is ideal. "I think it's great," she said. "It's a win-win. I'm sure that Jeanne would say her life has been enriched by having Barbara a part of it, and hats off to those people who can think beyond a cute, cuddly kid." Barbara Baine said she and her mother enjoying doing a variety of things together, like traveling, scrapbooking, making jewelry, spending time with their two cats, shopping and reading. "Just seeing her grow a lot socially has been a lot of fun," Jeanne Baine said.Jeanne Baine said although life is fun and more settled now, the union wasn't easy in the beginning. "The fostering is a little more difficult," she said. "I think part of that was all the appointments she had to go to. That was probably the hardest part. Once she was doing better, settling in and being less anxious … then it started to get a lot more fun. You sort of expect that, and be patient and just go through the steps you need to go through." Fostering and adopting a teen worked out perfectly, because she could really talk to Barbara about everything she was going through, Jeanne Baine said. "I think it would have been easier than a baby," she said. "An older child, you can have a discussion, whereas with a younger child you can't." Jeanne Baine said Barbara also really seemed to appreciate everything because she could understand all that was going on. Barbara Baine cried as she talked about the life her mother has given her. "When you adopt a teen, they might not realize it at the moment, but they are actually being given a second or third ... chance to be loved and find a home where they could be connected and feel safe. It was kind of mixed feelings (during my adoption) because the, first, concept of forever, but it was mostly joyful because I knew that somebody actually cared for me and actually wanted me around instead of pushing me away." Barbara Baine said it feels good to know that someone will always have her back. Reach Bridget Jones at bridgetj@goldcountrymedia.com ----------------------------------------------------For more information on Placer KidsCall: (530) 887-9982Email: placerkids@sierraff.orgWebsite: placerkids.org