Sounds of the season, courtesy of K-Tel

I catch myself humming quite a bit these days. Sitting and watching the lights sparkle on the tree, wrapping presents, addressing cards to all my friends and family ... it doesn't matter what I'm doing, I'm humming the songs of the season.You know them, too. C'mon, sing along with me: "Ch-ch-ch-chia! Ch-ch-ch-chia pet!"Hmmm, you don't know that one? OK, how about, "Clap on! Clap off! Clap on, clap off, the Clapper!"As a child of the '70s, I grew up with the Christmas assault of TV commercials for everything from the Dial-A-Matic food slicer from Ronco to "Disco Rocket," a collection of 20 original hits from 20 original artists, from K-Tel. To this day I have dreams narrated by Bob Washington, the voice of K-Tel commercials.I know I'm waxing nostalgic and longing for a simpler time here, but it bothers me a little that kids today don't have the joy of waiting all year for those commercials to grace the TV screen so they too can squeal, "I want that for Christmas!" When's the last time anyone asked Santa Claus for a Mr. Microphone or a Pocket Fisherman?Heck, I work with people who are in their mid-20s who don't even know those company names. Mention "Sha Na Na's Silly Hits" or the Smokeless Ashtray and their faces register nothing but blank stares that seem to say to me, "You poor, deluded woman. Obviously you are in your mid-30s and suffering from some extremely rare, old-age disease that makes you long for the old metal Easy Bake Ovens, Electronic Football games and The Six Million Dollar Man action dolls."Back in the day, when we only had three channels to choose from and actually had to walk across the room to change the channel, products from Ronco and K-Tel were staples each holiday season.It just wasn't Christmas unless you were plopped down in front of the TV with a big bowl of Chex Mix listening to the announcer tell you not only would you not pay $50, $40 or even $30 for this incredibly cheap plastic something or other, "but wait! There's more!"With cable programming available 24 hours a day, home shopping networks and infomercials, there's no need for many of those classic pitches for useless crap. Sure, a few still pop up now and then, like the Clapper and Chia Pet, but it's just not the same.So forgive me if I don't bust out into a rendition of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" in the next few days. I'm too busy breaking out my portable record player and humming along to my "5th Dimension Special" album while making a relish tray with my Chop-O-Matic. God bless you, Ron Popeil.- Sherri L. Shaulis is a reporter with The Press-Tribune. She can be reached at sherris@goldcountrymedia.com.