One in three teen parties involve spiked drinks

Dear Straight Talk: Your columns on date rape drugs have really got me going. I have two wonderful sons in middle school and I cannot fathom what type of young man would resort to drugging a young woman's drink in order to take advantage of her sexually. What is going on here? Has society shrunk this low or are these isolated cases?Appalled in NewcastleDear Appalled:According to high school teens, one in three large parties involve drinks spiked with drugs. In college, it is worse.The phenomenon has increased in the last few years probably due to the ease of making the drugs and because the amnesia effects of some of the drugs make it difficult for victims to testify.This is why a doctor's exam and early urine test are essential, not only to protect yourself, but to prove the existence of the drug. (GHB leaves the body within 12 hours. If you think you were drugged collect a sample of your first urine for testing.)GHB - gamma hydroxyl butyrate - is known for its amnesia effects and is easy and inexpensive to make. There are about 80 nicknames for GHB, including "G" and "Easy Lay."For a profile of the type of guy who would spike a girl's drink, read on.From Jeff, 22: The guy who spikes drinks with "G"-or any drug-is the same type of guy who beats a woman, who treats a woman as an object. He wants his way with her and doesn't give an f - about her, or what the drug might do to her. These drugs can possibly kill her. GHB is essentially a degreaser/floor stripper mixed with drain cleaner.It's easy to make on the cheap with non-traceable ingredients, or you can buy it pre-made over the Internet as it is sold to treat sleep disorders. With drinks being spiked at parties, there's no control over the dose or how much alcohol the girl has consumed before she receives the drug. It's a very dangerous situation. If someone passes out, get him or her to a hospital immediately. There's a myth going around with GHB that you'll sleep it off, but it is absolute foolishness to risk this.I think date rape drugs have attracted another type of guy, too, the type who sees it as impossible to get laid otherwise.Our society has made guys so under-confident that they don't see themselves in an attractive light. They've been hurt to the point that they're scared of women. For them, these drugs are a way to get what they want without having to do the personal work.For additional information about date rape drugs, go to www.projectghb.org. Dear Straight Talk:I'm 18 and I'm responding to the letter complaining about the "big fat modern wedding." I think the idea that weddings are supposed to be huge comes from TV and movies. At a recent wedding I got a reality check. While the young couple had good financial backing, it was a very low key, very modest wedding. All of the decorations they did themselves. They even made their own cake.The guest list was only about 30 people, just close friends and family. Still, when I imagine a wedding, I imagine it like any other teenage girl -unrealistically.I'm engaged, and honestly, I would like to wait to get married so I can at least have somewhat of an unrealistic wedding. Even though weddings are about declaring your vows, I do think it's nice to have that one special day.Willing to wait Dear Willing:Whether a wedding is simple or elaborate, what makes it special are the feelings between the couple. That's why I recommend couples counseling before tying the knot.If money is an issue, most parents are thrilled to fund this as a pre-wedding gift. Best wishes.- Lauren Forcella is co-founder of Teens-Matter, a non-profit organization devoted to teens. Letters to Straight Talk are answered by Teens-Matter's advanced students. Write us at Straight Talk, 3215 Fortune Court, Auburn, CA 95602 or visitwww.teens-matter.com.