Gay residents ask for equal treatment

It's harder being a gay youth than a gay adult in Colfax. That's according to experiences of two gay adults and a gay high school student.While there are at least 16 clubs at Colfax High School, none are devoted solely to gay/lesbian issues. The closest club is START (Students teaching acceptance, respect, tolerance), founded last year."The intention was to make START a support group for any teen who feels picked on," said Steve Rigney, the faculty advisor. But the group only briefly addressed gay issues last year.Vicky Currey, whose daughter, Candice, is a gay Colfax High senior, would like to see forums and a support group begin at the school."The lack of support at Colfax High makes me fearful for other students who may not be as fearless or as open as Candice," Currey said. "Teenagers shouldn't have to live in fear just because they're gay."Currey's daughter hopes to start a Gay-Straight Alliance Group this year at Colfax High School for her senior project. It's a support group Candice Currey said could have made her high school experience smoother. Of the 540 Gay-Straight Alliance Groups in California, all but 12 are at high schools. "There's a growing movement of young straight allies who recognize this as a tolerance and diversity issue, who are committed for safe schools for all," said Tanya Mayo, the Gay-Straight Alliance Network's statewide program director. "In more rural and isolated areas, like the Central Valley, Orange County and parts of Northern California, we see the phenomenon of both the school community and the greater community having a greater resistance for the existence and formation of GSAs and issues that the alliance might be facing." A Colfax High student's story Enrolling at Colfax High School 3 ½-years ago, Candice Currey learned an unexpected lesson not on any teacher's syllabus. That lesson was how to cope with insults about her sexual orientation.Currey didn't have to learn those coping skills at her previous Bay Area schools.No one was upset when she, as a seventh- and eighth-grader, told friends, and her family, during the beginning of her freshman year in Marin County, that she was gay.It wasn't an earth-shattering statement to her sisters, friends and her mother, who already figured Currey was gay.Her mother immediately accepted her daughter's revelation as just an ordinary fact of life. "When she told me, I said, 'Oh, I knew that,'" Vicky Currey said.Her daughter didn't expect her mother to be so understanding."I was nervous to tell my mom. Parents have certain thoughts like they want you to have a great husband," Currey said. "But she wasn't like that; she was like, yeah, OK." While her mother and Marin friends were happy for her, several students at her new school a few months later, weren't as accepting.Currey, treated by Marin students as just another classmate, didn't expect the hostile reception she received as a Colfax High School student. "I can deal with it, but it's really hard. People here are pretty close-minded," she said.Ever since transferring to Colfax High, Currey said, she has endured frequent insults about her sexual orientation."Her freshman year, she was surrounded by 10 guys. I told the school vice principal that their job is to keep her safe," Vicky Currey recalled. "The school's response was, 'we can't monitor her.' They said there weren't that many gay students. But I was ready for that answer; I told them there were more. As a result, they started monitoring her that year and letting me know she was safe." Although school life for the senior still has its rough moments, Currey shrugs off the discrimination as best she can."I get called 'faggot' occasionally. I can't use the girls' bathroom because a lot of the girls who use the bathroom think I'm a guy or that I shouldn't be in there because I'm gay. But I don't bother with that stuff. I just go to the bathroom at home," she said. Currey is part of an invisible minority at school. While a few females at school won't deny they're gay, Currey said, they also won't flaunt it. Currey said that students will often look at her group and start laughing. "It's obvious they're talking about us," she said.No support system currently exists for gay students at the school. "Kids are afraid to talk. If you're a guy, you'll get the s- kicked out of you if it's known you're gay," she said.Currey asked a school counselor, according to her mother, about starting a Gay-Straight Alliance club her first year here. Currey had to explain the organization's purpose (to provide a safe place for students to support each other, talk about sexual orientation issues and work to end homophobia).Currey figured the school wasn't interested in forming an alliance.What kind of help does Vicky Currey want from the school? "A little more tolerance and awareness would be great. Schools should be there to support all students," the mother said. But Candice Currey doesn't believe school staff can change the behavior of students who taunt her. "When kids make fun of me, I don't pay any attention anymore. After awhile, I built a wall," Currey said. What does Candice Currey want from the school? To be more open-minded. "Being gay doesn't mean we're anything different," Currey said.Wayne Stidham and Bill Medlyn's story Partners Wayne Stidham and Bill Medlyn, and active community members, point out that area residents are less accepting today of gays. "Things used to be more liberal. People didn't care if you were gay. Now that people are moving here, people are less tolerant," said Stidham, who recently sold the Pizza Factory that he owned for five years with Medlyn.Medlyn is a former executive director and special events director of the Colfax Area Chamber of Commerce."Everyone knew we were gay. We're everyday people who have to love differently. We have to try harder at staying together because of everything out there against us," Medlyn said. "We have more than your normal obstacles."Although knowing each other since preschool, their parents bowled in the same Grass Valley league; Stidham and Medlyn didn't get together until 14 years ago. They became comfortable with their sexuality at different times. Stidham had a boyfriend while at Empire Continuation High School. Medlyn, on the other hand, denied that he was gay while at nearby Nevada Union High School and believed "something" was wrong with him. "I was a total prep, an overachiever. I was a student council officer, in the debating club, on the rally commission. I had girlfriends," Medlyn said. "My mom, Shirley Medlyn, was a popular middle school teacher." In hindsight, Medlyn said, he lost his identity. "I compromised myself to keep up with appearances. But I got tired of putting on airs," Medlyn reminisced. "It took me until I was 26, when I saw Wayne again, when I stopped trying to impress everyone but myself." Both men are friends with the Curreys. For all students who might be dealing with these internal struggles, Stidham would like Colfax High faculty to encourage forming a gay-straight alliance club. "By the school not sanctioning, whether they approve or not, the school evokes a lack of respect to students, their feelings and rights," Stidham said. "It comes down to humanity and the right to equal education." In addition, Medlyn would like to see the school district teach tolerance at earlier grades. "It's a nationwide, worldwide issue. In some countries, kids get killed if they come out," Medlyn added. "When we're small children playing together, we don't know the difference of color, accent, ethnicity, religion. They're taught this by parents and media."Medlyn believes that Colfax High is not safe for any student who is different "and does not meet the norm."And the teens hanging out today in Colfax are not like the ones Medlyn knew 10 years ago. "They're latchkey kids, kids without parental supervision who have nothing to do," Medlyn said. "It's a different climate." While they've had the word, "fag," scratched a year ago on their car, and had windows broken at their restaurant, both men said that Colfax has been good to them. "We've had no problems with adults," Stidham said. "We found our niche in town. All adults we ran into are open-minded. We were extremely active in the chamber of commerce and orchestrated a youth group at our Methodist church with Pastor Pam Fine four years ago." But they're concerned for teens like Candace Currey, who are faced constantly with anti-gay sentiments.Colfax High School's story Steve Rigney, a popular Spanish and dance teacher, isn't sure how many gays and lesbians attend Colfax High. "There's a stigma associated. About 10 kids identify themselves as bi-sexual because it's easier for others to accept," Rigney said this week. "Candice is the only one who openly talks about her orientation that I have heard about." There's no support group currently on campus for gays, Rigney acknowledged, although most staff members empathize with the students. Candice Currey hopes to form a Gay-Straight Alliance club as her senior project. "I want a place where everyone can feel safe no matter what and not feel judged," she said.Rigney gladly agreed to be her senior project mentor. "I'm a firm believer in acceptance and inclusiveness. We missed the boat here - we don't have the level of acceptance we should have," Rigney said. "It's not easy to go through life in this area as a gay." Bryce Harrison, a Colfax High senior, doesn't want such a group on campus. While Harrison, 17, said that Currey has the right to organize such a group, he doesn't want the group at school because "it would promote more homosexuality. The more it's promoted, the more homosexuality becomes accepted. It's an issue of morality."With at least five students he knows to be gay, added Harrison, Colfax High staff already tolerate gays on campus.While Rigney said that students accept Candace because they've known her for "a long time," he conversely said that her openness affects them. "I've had guys say, 'why do they have to stand around and kiss?' And girls said it's icky when they hug," said Rigney about Candace's group of friends. For now, Candice's group at school is comprised of like-minded girls. "I've been told people make fun of them," Rigney added. But Principal Rick Spears has not heard those comments."Lot of students make rude remarks to kids quite often in a lot of contexts. If it's reported, we deal with it. Remarks (about gays) hasn't been reported," Spears said. "If someone's being teased, we're going to deal with it. Nothing's been reported."The school's policy on sexual harassment provides consequences such as talking to or expulsion, the principal added.Rick Brown, the school's journalism teacher, believes that most school staff "bend over backwards to make all kids feel comfortable."He said that the assistant principals, who deal with discipline issues, were supportive when he sought advice once on handling a gay issue."When I needed definition, clarity, when two gays were goofing around in the hall," Brown explained, "the assistant principals told me to use the same standards on gay kids as non-gay kids, to treat them just like anybody else."